Fatherhood
So, this is the “What-I’ve-learned-in-one-month-as-a-father and-should-have-blogged-about-on-Father’s-Day but-didn’t-so-you’re-getting-it-now” post.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, — Eph 5:24
In other words, as Mark Darling puts it, “Husbands, Die.”
No other verse has found its way into my head more often in the last month than this one. Some nights, it’s almost a mantra. Never in my life, have I been forced to die to my flesh and serve — or else profane the name of Christ by going back on my marriage vows, and be worse than an unbeliever — than I have in the last month.
Want to sleep at 4 AM? Me too. Guess what? Die. Oh, you think you’re at the end of your rope, and can’t take any more crying and you’ll fall over trying to rock your daughter to sleep? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Die. But all I want to do something fun — or sleep — or eat using both hands. You know what? Die.
I don’t mean to make fatherhood sound awful. It’s really not. There are joys unimaginable to be found — and she can’t even hold her head up, or smile. I just mean to say that I’m beginning to understand the depth of Christ’s love for the church. It’s a level of sacrifice and selflessness that I had never conceived of when I made my vows to Kirsten — and I understand more now than then the shallowness with which I currently understand Christ’s love. As much as I’ve been surprised by the sacrifice required, and at times by my lack of willingness to actually die — I am equally amazed at the completeness with which Christ loved us.
Today was one of those longer days, where I felt exhausted by dinner time. But even when it’s one of those challenging days, I can try to take joy in the trials and thank God for having a beautiful, healthy daughter. (The operate word there is TRY — don’t get me wrong, I definitely have a wrong attitude at times!)