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Madeline: Mom, are you done milking the baby yet?

Me: It’s called “nursing” or “breastfeeding” not “milking.”   And besides, don’t you think it’s more like Kai is milking me?

—-

Madeline: Daddy, did you play computer games when you were a kid?

Tony: Not really. There weren’t very many computer games when I was your age, and we didn’t have the internet at all.

Madeline: What did you DO?!?

—

Madeline: I like baby Kai a lot. I don’t think I would ever want to kill him.

Me: Um, Madeline, do you know what the word “kill” means?

Madeline: I guess it’s something bad, right? Like I wouldn’t ever want to do anything bad to him.

Me: Well, that’s putting it lightly! I really wouldn’t recommend talking at all about killing people.

—

Madeline: Guess what, we learned about two more babies in our class at church today

Me: Oh, what were their names?

Madeline: Jacob and See-Saw!

Me: [Side splitting laughter; Tony has to explain what's so funny about that]